Is it normal to miss your booty call?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
