i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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