I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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