I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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