I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
