Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
