Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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