why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
