So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
