i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
