i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just had sex on a roof
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
