I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
