If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
