no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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