Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
