well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
