ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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