I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize