But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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