all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
