So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize