so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
