This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
