He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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