just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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