I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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