Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
