I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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