I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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