An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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