we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want