Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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