just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just puked most of my soul out..
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
