I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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