Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
