I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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