so that wasnt chicken after all
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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