I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How external is "for external use only"?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
