Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
