she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
