Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
