Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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