is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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