How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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