Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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