No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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