The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize