i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
