and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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