Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
