I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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