I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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