Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
