Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
