The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
