I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I didn't shave. On purpose
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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