i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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