the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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