i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
