I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
