walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
