It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
