I need help removing her.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
