My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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