Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
It's Friday. Sex?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize