you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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