If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wear drunk well.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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