but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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