franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
