I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize