Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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