I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Randomize
