Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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