So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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