did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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